Brian: Do you have a principal that guides your life?

Eric: Yes. Always suspect the worst of others. You'll rarely be disappointed.

Brian: Do you think you can be a little more positive?

Eric: Yes. Always expect the best of others.

Brian: There you go.

Eric: And watch as your hope is crushed like crackers in a fat man's bed.

Brian: Never mind.

Eric: And the fat man is angry. And the fat man has a sledgehammer. And the fat man is yelling, "Die, crackers, die!!"